Life Lessons Learned from a Dog
- 1. If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you’ll get what you want.
- 2. Don’t go out without ID.
- 3. Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by pissing on their shoes.
- 4. Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.
- 5. Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
- 6. Always give people a friendly greeting. A cold nose in the crotch is most effective.
- 7. When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you’re dragged shamefully out from under the bed).
- 8. If it’s not wet and sloppy, it’s not a real kiss.
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